Embracing Our Pain, The Path to True Healing

For generations, we've been guided by the age-old advice to "be happy." We often feel broken or inferior when we fall short of this elusive state of joy. We wonder, "Why can't I reach that mystical place called happiness?" Even gratitude, despite its power, sometimes feels inadequate. I understand this struggle deeply. So, what do we do when our attempts at happiness seem fruitless? We mask our pain, push our fears aside, and plaster a smile on our faces. We've all heard the phrase "fake it till you make it," but often, anxiety and pain persist, teaching us lessons whether we're ready to listen or not.

What if we faced our fears and examined our pain instead of chasing happiness? There's a profound beauty in the lessons that pain and fear offer.

As infants, we learn by observing others—smiling, laughing, and mimicking their actions. We touch something hot and know it burns. Our physical sensations guide us through crawling, walking, and talking. This connection between physical pain and emotional experience is essential. Just as we feel the collective energy of a crowd at a sports event, we are deeply connected to the emotions that shape our experiences. The excitement, hope, and gratitude shared among fans create an electrifying atmosphere, mirroring the unity and shared energy within families and communities.

In our families, we often deeply feel the highs and lows of those we love. When a family member is sad, we feel their sadness; when they're happy, we share in their joy. Yet, we often discourage our children from expressing anger or sadness, masking our emotions behind a smile and reassuring them that "everything is fine." However, anger, fear, guilt, frustration, and pain carry essential messages. If we push them away, they become louder and more persistent, ultimately haunting us. Joy and beauty might fade into the background, but these teaching emotions intensify, leading some to seek solace in unhealthy ways.

Unfortunately, for some, these unresolved emotions manifest in addiction or violence. The opioid epidemic, for instance, claimed countless lives, with eight people dying every day from opioid overdoses alone in 2016. Addiction often stems from suppressed pain or buried emotions, and while it can be treated, it remains a powerful symptom of unresolved suffering. Remember, those struggling with addiction are often just trying to numb their pain and find a semblance of peace.

To prevent our emotions from overwhelming us, we must acknowledge and embrace them. By facing our anger, guilt, and shame, we can understand their messages and release their hold on us. Sometimes, this means revisiting painful experiences to see that their power diminishes over time. When we confront our fears with bravery, we discover that there is often nothing to fear. Healing begins when we recognize and appreciate our concern for the growth they bring and for their unwavering persistence in teaching us about ourselves.

We open ourselves to more profound healing and connection by embracing our pain. It's not about seeking happiness as an end goal but rather about understanding that our struggles are part of a more extensive, beautiful journey of growth and self-discovery.

Personally speaking, I've learned more from pain than I've learned from joy; perhaps joy is my reward for slaying the Dragon named PAIN.